Life Decisions are Hard/A Very Similar Post to Lisa's

Two weekends ago Antonio fell asleep while driving home after the night shift. He was very lucky that he was on our road going slow, that he only hit a couple of parked cars, and that no one (including himself) was hurt. His car is toast. It's left us both feeling kind of shaken, and feeling that something has to change.

Between this job and the railroad he's been doing night shifts for 3 years. For 1.5 years of that I've been fighting off almost nightly panic attacks triggered by being alone at night. For some reason we just keep toiling through all this because most of the time it seems like there isn't a choice. But now it feels like something is shifting.

We love Denver and Colorado, but we're both super unhappy with our jobs. We're making more money than we used to, but feeling more stuck than we used to because of the higher cost of living in a city. We miss friends and family. Is this adulthood? At the same time we're getting more opportunities with art and writing and yoga, though they don't pay well yet. At the same time we're enjoying the new adventures, opportunities, people, and cultures here. At the same time we're feeling thankful to have enough money and food, to have a roof over our head, and to have each other.

What's the next step? Do we find new work? Have we just gotten too serious and focused on survival that we need to make more time for happiness? Do we get ready to head back to New England? I wish signs were a little bit clearer.

I shall brighten this post with a cute Puff picture! :)